Big Ideas
Harness the positive from your negative emotions
- If we choose to numb the negatives and you also numb the positives
- You can’t get rid of -ve negative emotions without also suppressing the +Ve ones
- People avoid negative because they underestimate their capacity to handle distress
For example – ANXIETY is considered a negative emotion
- How does anxiety affect us?
- Too little anxiety – Leads to boredom and lack of attention
- Too much anxiety – Paralyzes a person and Leaves them overwhelmed
- Anxiety can narrow your thinking and make you very focussed. But that is not always bad … because that is what you need in certain situations
- Heightened perception, awareness, being able to tune out other un important things … are all a requirement in those special moments
Stop thinking about emotions as good or bad in general
- Instead harness their power
- Anger = enhances courage
- Anxiety = Enhances awareness
Emotional Labelling
- Clarify and label the emotions being felt
- Each distinct emotion
- Clarify and label Without getting tangled up in it
- When we clarify and label negative emotions they loose their grip on us
- Dont clump all emotions as one
- Separate them
- Nietzsche said: “Language dictates consciousness”
- When it comes to emotions – Differentiate as much as you can. You will gain
- Access to joys of higher peaks
- Skills to handle deeper valleys
On Happiness
- We wrongly predict what will make us happy in the future
- Because we overlook our capacity to tolerate and even adapt to discomfort
- We overestimate how happy we will feel when something +ve happens
- We underestimate our capacity to tolerate distress
- In order to live well
- We can’t just accept positive emotions and deny -ve emotions
- We have to live FULLY
- Being able to handle whatever life serves
- Don’t make happiness your goal
- You have more joy when you don’t make happiness your goal
Interview Links
- Todd Kashdan’s Website
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